Barbour, Carolina - Watch Me, Desire Me (Siren Publishing Allure) Read online

  “Can you save me from you?” she sniffled.

  The banal statement vibrated in her brain. The ridiculous notion of what she requested would have been humorous had the reality of it not been clear. Juden made everything in her topsy-turvy world stop spinning. He made her forget about the callous life she led and the mundane existence, but mostly he gave her a false sense of comfort that their time together was anything but a glimpse of happiness she would never have forever.

  Wrong, right, or indifferent, Juden gave her a transient moment of contentment only a fool would believe would exist pass his wants. She was living in his moment. A time of easy promises made and as quickly forgotten, tomorrow, the next day, or when weeks rolled by. In time, realism she belonged to another would come again. The fact was unquestionable, like one could count on the sun to rise and set each day. Juden chuckled. “I’m good, not damned good, darling. I would have to want to save you from me. Call it selfish, or whatever, I’m afraid you’ve given me a taste of unbridled passion, red-hot desire, and boundless pleasure. You have become invaluable. I’m not going away.”

  “Promise me,” she said, quietly, looking at him.

  “The hounds of hells could not drag me away from you on my lowest day.”

  Saxby wondered if he would live to regret his words, as he divested her every stitch of clothing. Within seconds, she was enclosed in his arms, her thighs braced against his, and the undeniable pleasure of his hard shaft throbbing against her pussy. He cupped her buttocks between his strong fingers, in one swift motion he propelled his erection upward and thrust forward.

  Saxby cried out with each stroke, fell against his shoulder, and held him as Juden made her forget her reservations and toss all caution to the wind.

  Chapter 23

  “Again and again…ah, right there, darling,” Juden cooed, driving deep, burying the full strength of his cock into the delectable soaked slit. He rose marginally, braced his arms beside them, and drove into the succulent pussy reaching Saxby’s womb. He shivered, struggled for control, least he embarrassingly lose his seed.

  He was close, his body a flux of sensations tantalized every nerve ending and made him quake like a virgin. A light sheen of sweat coated his body. He was slippery, sliding over her breast and belly, the hairs on his thighs gliding along the smooth contours of her long, shapely legs entwined around his back like a silky embrace.

  “I want more. Up…up,” he beckoned. He waited until Saxby obeyed, and he felt his cock drill into the steamy channel. She was tight, her vagina clenching his hardness in a viselike grip. He could feel the suckling spasms travel along his cock and squeeze the head of his phallus, she snared him so snug.

  Her cheek burrowed into his neck, she held him closely, as if silently pleading for him to stay forever. He kissed her forehead, brushed her lips, capturing the bottom fullness, he sucked…alternating between soft and hard. Then he sliced his tongue between her lips when she opened her mouth and a pant escaped.

  His kiss was thorough, almost savage, a wicked parlay of tongues twirled and swirled about as he consumed with feverish intent. A sharp intake of breath sounded, escaped from his lips, as she raised her hips to pull him closer. Never had he felt so complete. His soul in tune to every nuance of femininity, satiny skin, lush contours, even the erratic beat of her heart commanded his attention.

  This was what it was like, Juden thought. To feel entranced, awakened, and aware his body came alive with each thrust. He never considered the sex act anything more than a means to an end. This time was different. Everything about Saxby made him aware of his own feelings. He could actually sense the hunger she ignited in him until he had a difficult time deciphering whom fucked whom. In his heart, where he rarely drifted, a notion prevailed that temporarily left him vulnerable. He was no longer rational as a storm of emotions flooded his senses and carried him away to a place he never gone before. Pass sexual desire, rampant need, he gave into the magnetism of Saxby, and let the reality of what it meant fade as his world abruptly flipped upside down and he succumbed to the unthinkable.

  Juden groaned with the thought—the lady was no longer just in his head. She exceeded the limitation, and effectively maneuvered inside his heart. “Damn,” he murmured.

  “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  It was too late. The woman managed what he thought an impossible feat. What he couldn’t fathom was what he intended to do about it. It was a fleeting thought, gone like a sudden burst of air, as the greedy minx dug her nails into his buttocks demanding more vigor. He aimed to please. He knew her hunger. She wanted it faster and harder. Damnit, she wanted it all and acting the sap, he gave into the whims of Saxby, as he did no other.

  Saxby moaned in pleasure.

  Her name tore from his throat as he felt the last of his resistance faded. His entire body caved, shuddered in thongs of continuous rapture when he poured his semen into the welcoming portal.

  “Fuck,” Juden murmured, rolling onto his back. He carried Saxby with him. “Damn it to hell.”

  This was terrifying.

  It was also elating he felt so alive.

  “Mmmm.” Her tone sedated and faltered into a sultry purr.

  Juden kissed her forehead. “Nothing, darling, sleep,” he said, gently tucking her head against his shoulder. He feared Saxby might ask him to expound on his need for expletives. Instead, she sighed contently, snuggled closer, and dozed off.

  She slept like the dead for hours while he lay wide-eyed trying to work through the labyrinth of new emotions he felt.

  * * * *

  He wouldn’t say he never been besotted before, at least not for many years since Isla when he was young, green, and unaware emotions made one foolish. Nor was he ready to concede the temptation beside him wasn’t a lapse into mind numbness followed an endless night of fucking. The experience bizarre, Juden tried to label what she had done to him. Short of enchanting him no clue seemed plausible.

  Saxby murmured and rolled to her side. She threw a leg over his thigh, rubbed back and forth, and made dulcet noise like a feline basking in the sun. He made the mistake of looking at the outline of full breasts, peaked dark nipples, and the curvy hips. He felt himself start to inflate, fill with need, and thicken. When she made another funny sound and sprawled to her back, revealing the luscious cunt, his reaction was instantaneous and left him startled at how fast his arousal stretched and pulsated eagerly. Common sense told Juden to walk away. To escape, and why he didn’t, perplexed him even though it shouldn’t have. The glorious woman sleeping had his undivided attention. Especially when she shoved the cover away and exposed the pink, soft, interior pussy like an offer he couldn’t resist. Juden stared mesmerized at the curls slick with his cum and her juices. He inhaled filling his nostrils with her unique scent of sex, sweetness, and floral added to the delicious view.

  He swore and attempted to throttle the abrupt rampant surge of desire wash through him.

  He warned himself to run. Something he never did, not even in the face of death, against his greatest adversary, surely not from a succulent morsel. Did it matter he didn’t want to?

  There was so much enticement a man could handle. He wasn’t made of granite.

  Juden scooted up behind Saxby, and urged her thighs apart by slipping his hand between her legs. A finger parted the protruding wet lips easily. Her cream slickened his fingers, helping him to ease the way to give her something hotter…bigger.

  He turned her over and moved into the welcoming sex from behind, he gathered her close, their bodies fitting in perfect spoon fashion, the merging complete and instantly inflamed every propulsion of his cock met with the wiggling of her ass that shimmied around and about on his hard length. The feeling sumptuous, too much of a treat, the union defined “die from pleasure.”

  Their mating timed to the second, each beat succinct, their end came instantaneously leaving them gasping for air.

  Finally, sure he fucked himself into delirium, Juden rose from
the bed and sat in a chair. He teepeed his fingers beneath his chin, and studied Saxby while she slept.

  He made a promise not to leave her. He never broke a vow and didn’t intend to now. He reasoned he couldn’t remain in bed with Saxby and screw his life away. No matter how tempting the prospect.

  Juden made a decision. He had no choice. Keaton’s murderers were still out there. Come morning, he would prepare to ride out and pick up the men’s trail. When he found the vermin, he would cut them low, and then beat a hasty path back to Dandelion to deal with the situation he foolishly gotten himself into with Saxby.

  She would be upset, Juden thought standing and began to pull on his shirt. He would make her understand why he must go. He’d use charm, be convincing, and dare he think it? If necessary, he would plead for forgiveness for leaving, and swear upon his return never to go away again and leave her behind.

  As if she heard his thoughts, Saxby’s head suddenly popped up. She searched the darkness until she found him. Even in the dim light, he saw the stunning smile curve her full lips. She raised her arms asking him to come to her.

  He saw the glee turn to a frown when she realized he was fully clothed. A flint of knowing flashed in her eyes.

  “You are going away?”

  In a flash he was standing beside the bed. “I have to.” He kissed her forehead.

  “Why?”

  “‘Tis necessary,” he said, noncommittal. He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand, and then stepped away.

  “I don’t want you to go.” She pouted.

  “If I’m to keep my promise to stay forever—the word sounded strange on his lips, but right—I have business to conclude.”

  “You have to leave me to do this task?”

  Juden sighed in frustration. This wasn’t going to be as easy as he figured. In fact, Saxby was going to make it damned difficult. She reached, circled his cock, and began stroking between his thighs. He felt himself rise to the occasion, more than willing, his pants strained and rubbed against his cock until the feel made him ache with need.

  He curled her fingers in his large hand. It took a force of nature to cease the licentious feel of her hand massaging his cock.

  “I’m not leaving immediately, maybe in a few days after I prepared what I need to travel, gathered a few men to add to my entourage of guards, and settled matters here. You will be safe. I already sent for someone to watch over you. You will like Tavian.” He gave her a look. “But, not too much.” He made a point.

  “No.”

  “Don’t sulk, Sexy. You have me for a few more days,” he teased, a faint smile creased his mouth. He rubbed his thumb back and forth over her bottom lip. His eyes brightened and shinned with amusement. “Surely you can do without me for a couple of weeks?”

  Saxby glared up at him. “Maybe. Maybe not. You expect me to wait and see if you ever return?”

  “You will wait and damn well like it.” She hadn’t threatened to leave Dandelion. There was an underlining challenge to his authority. Not that she had anywhere to run, however with Saxby, it wasn’t wise to ignore her propensity for rash actions.

  When she didn’t readily agree with his demands, Juden’s stance went from pliant to unyielding. “Saxby, I’m warning you not to do anything foolish. You will be here when I come back.” His voice held a hard edge.

  “I will be here, Juden, but who is to say you will be welcomed in my bed.”

  What she alluded to made something explode inside him. He leaned down, caught her chin between his fingers. His eyes burned into her equally intense gaze. He repeated, saying, “You will be here when I return. In this bed—”

  “Or a bed,” she said, casually.

  Juden snarled and moved closer, so close Saxby saw the tiny sparks of sulfur burning in his silver orbs. “When are you going to learn not to make idol threats? You do what you must whilst I’m away. I swear when I return if there is a man in your bed he’s dead.”

  “I may be in his bed. Who knows?”

  “Whatever the arrangements, I will drag you by your hair back here. Kill the bastard and deal with you accordingly. That is a promise.” Juden stepped back. “Now, if you will excuse me,” he said and left.

  * * * *

  How dare he! Saxby went into a rage and slapped the pillow with her fist. She allowed her temper to gain control shortly and just as quickly she settled and moped. She cursed herself for falling for Juden. His type of man was designed for pleasure, nothing serious, and certainly not something as final as happily ever after.

  Saxby fumed with indignation, wondering how many women had he left just like this? Probably hundreds, thousand, no doubt an endless amount of simpering, whining women, he pleaded for him to stay as she just foolishly did.

  She didn’t doubt men like Juden VanZandt were accustomed to acquiescent women. Eager slaves to his amorous expertise, damned charm, and the unquestionable lure the man had by merely talking and walking. Very irrational women, Saxby thought.

  Well, she wasn’t like the others. She couldn’t be. She refused to be. She told herself and in the same thought wondered why if she weren’t had she already felt lonely and at a loss now that he was gone. The man was in her blood, strong, potent, and more addictive then grainroot.

  Chapter 24

  Why was he still here?

  Saxby intentionally gave Juden a wide berth. If he entered a room, she exited. If she saw him walking toward her, she made a quick about face and hurried in the other direction. She couldn’t face him. Unsure of her reaction, what she would do if they were forced to encounter each other, she made it a point to stay out of his sight.

  Juden didn’t chase. It didn’t surprise her when he didn’t try to interact with her and kept the space between them wide. She was disappointed and furious for his lack of regard to at least attempt and placate her feelings.

  With Juden conveniently at a distance, Saxby set to the task of paying attention to Milo. She threw herself into ensuring he wanted for nothing and danced to his tune with each ridiculous demand he made on her. Milo hadn’t said as much, but she was keenly aware he was angry with her. She tried to pacify his nasty disposition by playing the doting wife even though both knew a wedge as wide as a bridge was now between them.

  She felt contrite about matters, sunk into despair for being an ungrateful wife, then reminded herself Milo brought Juden into their lives and sealed all their fates.

  To make matters worse, since Juden and she shunned each other’s attentions, she felt foolish for allowing her whimsical fantasies about to manifest into anything other than pure lust. Now, their time together was ending. She overhead him talking to Faison and knew he planned to ride out in the morning. Her hope of all hope was Juden would come to her and share his intentions to leave on the morrow. Say a warm and gracious goodbye. Mayhap, spend the night in her bed. Saxby dismissed the ridiculous wants with a wave of her hand. To think Juden conceded anything, she might as well expect Milo to excuse her betrayal, for giving her body and heart to Juden. She found neither scenario likely to transpose. Both brothers were as stubborn as a tick on a horse’s ass.

  “Why do you dally? I called for your hours ago!” Milo said, calling from his bed.

  Inundated in her thoughts, the time and distance it took to walk to Milo’s chamber passed in a blur. Hearing him call out snapped her out of the complex feelings rumbling inside and forced her to shift attention to him.

  Saxby forced a pretentious smile onto her face. “I apologize, matters kept me occupied longer than I thought would be necessary. “ She breezed into the room as if she floated on a cloud even though her feet, like her mood, were heavy and morose. “How are you feeling today?”

  “Do you really care?” His tone was vinegary.

  “If I weren’t I wouldn’t have asked. Please, Milo, must we argue? Can we not put the distasteful matters behind us and start anew? I would really like that.” It was strange, but she actually felt mending her relationship with Milo was what she
needed. It wouldn’t help her to forget Juden, but at least she would give it a huge effort. To save her marriage and attempt to salvage what was left of her life, in hopes of living out her days somewhat content.

  Milo’s façade of cheeriness faltered in his contemptuous tone. “What, now Juden is leaving you feel obligated to spend some time with your husband? How nice and dutiful of you. I suppose I should be pleased you have time to entertain me with your presence.”

  Saxby struggled to contain her composure. She could not fault Milo’s fury. She had been utterly stupid and disgraced them both.

  Gracefully, she attempted to soothe things over with her husband. “Let us put unsavory matters in the past. Please?”

  “You dare come crawling back to me now Juden pushed you aside. Oh, you didn’t think I was aware he is leaving. He told me of his plans, you little fool. Our arrangement is over. His service no longer required, and his task is done.”

  “Wha-what do you mean? I don’t understand.” The brutality of his words, the stark truth, crashed something inside Saxby so she almost collapsed.

  “Oh, did he promise to return and sweep you off your feet, my wife? Tell me you did not fall for the lie Juden speaks in his sleep to every female he fucks. Humph, I thought you were smarter, my dear.”

  Milo’s voice was strong, she noticed, as a robust laugh burst from his lips. His eyes twinkled wickedly, not bright, and something about him made the hairs on the back of her neck rise.

  His words were harsh, crude, and sounded manic?

  No, it couldn’t be, Saxby told herself, staring at Milo, desperately not wanting to believe such. She glanced at the side table to see if a cup of grainroot was there. Any evidence he drank the concoction, but there was no sign Milo wasn’t himself. She didn’t see any signs of the elixir, which chillingly meant her husband’s actions and words weren’t falsely induced. Just as quickly as he manifested into something sinister, Milo changed like the time. He smiled, his eyes glowed, and he looked genuinely contrite. “Ah, my Saxby, forgive me. I’m delirious with anger I foolishly brought Juden into our marriage and he possibly stolen my wife from me. Do you understand how I feel?” He held out his arms for her to come to him. Saxby hesitated, trying to decipher the abrupt transformation Milo exhibited from ominous to angelic. Thoroughly confused, she could only stand motionless and stare at him.